Nearing the End of an Era

Approaching the End of My Time in Russia

This post has been a long time coming. I keep starting to write, and then never finishing. It may be that I just didn’t have the words to express my mixed emotions in regards to coming home. 13 days. That’s less than two weeks away. I’m amazed that my Russian adventure is rapidly coming to a close. I knew it was coming, but I didn’t fully realize what that entailed.

Back in August, when I was doing the training for ILP, they told me that I would go through several different phases of emotions while abroad. I didn’t take them seriously when they said that. I figured I would have a little bit of culture shock and then be right at home. I didn’t think I would ever leave that “honeymoon phase” of being abroad. I definitely did, though.

Upon arriving in Moscow, I was running on pure adrenaline. I was excited about the opportunity to be here and to experience this great culture. Shortly after, I started feeling the culture shock. I didn’t speak the language. I couldn’t read anything. I felt completely helpless wherever I went. Despite being uncomfortable, I was able to get over that part fairly quickly. I knew what I had signed up for, and knew this was the perfect time to learn. Sure, it didn’t happen overnight. It was a gradual process, but I am definitely more confident in Moscow than I was three months ago. Shortly after that time, I went through a phase of comfort, where I was used to teaching. I knew what to do and I was more comfortable in Russia. Sadly, this phase didn’t last too long before I grew anxious to go home. Prior to my long vacation, I was starting to feel ready to come home, but after vacation, I was done. I didn’t want to be here anymore. I just wanted to get back to America.

The vacation gave me a sense of freedom. I didn’t want to return to teaching after that. I wanted to go home. Everything started to bug me- the people, the food, the situations, the country. I didn’t want to be surrounded by Russians anymore. I wanted to be home with my family, especially with the holidays coming up.

A few weeks after vacation was Thanksgiving, which was extremely difficult for me to deal with. I began to feel myself slipping into a bit of a depression. The holidays remind me of home. This is the time when my family comes together. I am used to being home and making pies with my mom. I kept thinking about all of the holiday traditions I would be missing.

Our little ILP family put a Thanksgiving dinner together, which was great, but it still didn’t fill the void in my heart. I was surrounded by the most incredible people, but couldn’t bring myself to fully enjoy the festivities. Truthfully, I am incredibly thankful for my ILP family. They’ve been amazing and have helped me to get through all of my difficult times as well as my great times. I am definitely thankful for them.

The actual day of Thanksgiving wasn’t as bad as I had imagined it to be. I got to talk to my parents, which was wonderful. Gulya, our local coordinator, also brought us pizza as a little Thanksgiving present. It was very sweet of her.

Now here I am. Less than two weeks away from returning home. I am ready to return to America, but I know that I will leave a little piece of my heart in Moscow.

The Things I Will Miss About Russia

Since I am about to go home, I think it is only appropriate to make a list of all the things I will miss about Russia

My Students

People Watching on the Metro

• Seriously. I’m going to miss it. You see the most interesting/weird people on the metro every day. You’ve got the blackout drunk people, who are lying across the seats. Then there are the babushkas that run the country. I’m not kidding. Putin is NOT running this country, the babushkas are! They’re sassy and pushy little things! There’re also the slimy looking guys, who try to pickpocket you. Don’t forget about the creepy Russian men who try to hit on you, while on the metro. Don’t smile at them, or they’ll follow you around. There’s also a nice collection of women doing the walk of shame through the metro. Don’t think I don’t see you wearing last night’s dress and stilettos. I’m telling you guys, people watching on the metro is great!

All the Fur

• This can go along with the people watching, but there is an overabundance of fur in this country. Everyone has some form of fur on their person, whether it is a coat, hat, boots, gloves, or a wrap. While I’m not big on personally wearing it, it is so iconically Russian. Also, all Russians firmly believe that if there is fur on something, it is warm. If not, it is not warm. I’m going to miss seeing all the fur, and watching for the weirdest looking fur outfits.

Red Square

• I love Red Square. It’s such an awesome landmark. The square is always full of people. It’s not just Russians. You see all sorts of tourists ranging from American, to Japanese, to Italian. It’s awesome. This time of year, Red Square is all lit up with Christmas lights, which is wonderful. I’m going to miss going to the square after a long day.

Delicious Chocolate

• European chocolate is indisputably better than American chocolate. Don’t fight me on this. I’m right. Sure, there are some decent chocolates in the US, but it doesn’t even compare. I’m going to miss the good chocolate here. 

Endless Places to See

• I’ve been in Moscow for four months, and I still haven’t seen it all. There’re so many things to do and places to see. I fear that I will be bored when I return to my little life in Utah.

The Amazing History

• There are buildings here in Russia that are older than America. Honestly. This weekend I am going to Tula, and the munitions factory has been there longer than America has been a country. Back home, the history is interesting, but doesn’t stretch very far back in time. I love seeing the ancient buildings here in Russia.

Bizarre Superstitions

• As annoying as the superstitions can be, I’m going to miss laughing at some of them. I just can’t help but laugh every time I sit on concrete. I will forever joke that my ovaries will freeze if I sit on cold concrete.

Borsch

• You guys, it’s so good. Few things warm you better than some savory and delicious Borsch. I love it.

The Close Proximity to Everything in Europe

• There’s nothing quite like getting a $30 plane ticket to another country. That doesn’t happen in the US. Really, you can’t even get a plane ticket to the state next to you for under $200 in the US. Travel costs in Europe are magical. 

I’m sure there are many other things I will miss, and those things will become clear once I return home, but for now, that is what I think I will miss most.

Right now, I’m just anxiously waiting to go home. It’s that awkward period where I’m so close, yet so far away from coming home. I can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I’ve still got some distance to cover, before I emerge from the tunnel in America.

I miss you all so much, and can’t wait to see you once I come home! Love you all!

I will try to post again soon!

All My Love,

Madison